Louie Austen

It was only a matter of time before the two cheesiest additions to dance music since the Dr. Seuss hat caught up with each other: Autotune and Louie Austen. The Austrian crooner's latest voyage into the world of "electronic" music, Last Man Crooning, finds the 64-year-old voice-correcting his way over a dozen more Tony Orlando meets Oakenfield compositions. Sadly, Last Man Crooning only moves on two gears: the faux-sexy/sexual groove of songs like "Hold On" and "I Wander" and painful slow jams "Now or Never" and "My Last Song." The bonus disc (or MP3s), entitled Electrotaining You!, features the likes of Ian Pooley, Acid Washed and Christopher Just remixing the album in its entirety, offering a slightly less pedestrian slant via extended intros and bubbly backbeats. It would be enough of a reason to give Last Man Crooning a chance if the novelty wore off quickly. But there's nothing novel about Last Man Crooning.