Gwar Frontwoman Vulvatron Is Having None of Your Petty Human Sexism

Gwar Frontwoman Vulvatron Is Having None of Your Petty Human Sexism
Photo courtesy of Jose Calvo
Where once the future of Gwar seemed so uncertain, from the ashes of intergalactic tragedy there has risen, like a blood-spewing phoenix, the mighty Vulvatron. Since assuming her role as the new co-frontwoman of ultra-violent, theatrical thrash monstrosity, a duty she shares with Blothar (former bassist Mike Bishop), her reign has ushered in a new era for one of metal's most beloved stage shows.

The loss of Oderus Urungus (founding member Dave Brockie, who passed away earlier this year) was a huge blow to the band; nothing short of a futuristic space goddess could have filled that void. While there is no question that the role she fills is massive, Vulvatron insists in a new Exclaim! interview that "of course I'm not overwhelmed, I find the year 2014 and these ancient scumdogs quite easy to deal with, as things in my time have progressed a long way. I chose to come back from my time and assist Gwar in precluding their imminent doom. I believe they are quite glad that I arrived when I did, however they might not know it just yet."

While the vast majority of the reactions to her ascent have been positive, some have failed to pay the new Queen of the Scumdogs the respect she so rightly commands. Some expressed doubt in her abilities to perform with intensity and violence; others have insulted her more directly, such as a Metal Injection interview wherein the frontwoman was asked, in character, "Which member of Gwar did you sleep with to get the gig?"

Vulvatron has little patience for such petty insults, saying dryly, "I've had to adapt my expectations to your primitive understandings of gender."

On her confidence in her own skills, however, she is more verbose, stating that just some of the benefits she brings to Gwar include "my skills on the battlefield, in the navigation of the space-time continuum, which they desperately need help with, and my vast knowledge of intergalactic musicology, manifested in vocal skills on the stage."

While she certainly has nothing to prove, Vulvatron's first tour with Gwar, currently underway, has proven to be an excellent opportunity for the new vocalist to prove she's as vile and disgusting as her comrades. Currently laying waste to North America, the "Gwar Eternal Tour" will cut a swath of destruction across the continent until December 13.

Embracing the over-the-top, abject and gleeful grotesquerie that Gwar are known for, Vulvatron has adopted a patented move known as the Boob Spew: an eruption of blood from her breasts, maintaining Gwar's commitment to showering crowds in fake offal at every opportunity.

Vulvatron explains that "once a month, in accordance with lunar and tidal cycles, females from my year tend to release blood from various orifices. Women and men both find this quite exciting. But humans seem to find it exciting as well. I also release the blood when sexually excited or when annoyed. I have noticed that earth humans tend to dread the bleeding instead of finding it a source of excitement and glory."

While Vulvatron is not the only woman to ever appear in Gwar, as Slymenstra Hymen (Danielle Stampe), Amazina and the Temptress have all been members in the past, it's the prominence and intensity of the role that Vulvatron commands, as well as the size of the character that she fills it with, that set her apart. While no one could replace Oderus, it's clear that Vulvatron is a worthy successor, capable of leading Gwar forward and building something new.

To those who cast down upon her and her skills, the time-travelling warrior invites them to "come to the 'Gwar Eternal Tour' and hear for themselves," promising what they will witness is "complete and total destruction. Get a life insurance policy and then come see us."

For those already devoted to her glory, Gwar will "be offering some Vulvatron-themed apparel for the human scum who come to be sacrificed at our live shows. If anyone wants to sacrifice their lives to Gwar and then go home with a T-shirt, that is entirely possible. We will use the money for absolutely no good whatsoever."

You can see all Gwar's upcoming tour dates, which include several in Canada, below.

Tour dates:

11/03 Santa Ana, CA - The Observatory #

11/04 Reno, NV - Knitting Factory Concert House #

11/05 San Francisco, CA - The Regency Ballroom #

11/06 Hollywood, CA - House of Blues #

11/07 Las Vegas, NV - Hard Rock Live #

11/08 Magna, UT - The Great Salt Air #

11/10 Boise, ID - Knitting Factory Concert House #

11/11 Portland, OR - Roseland Theater #

11/12 Seattle, WA - Showbox SODO #
11/14 Vancouver, BC - Commodore Ballroom ^
11/15 Spokane, WA - Knitting Factory Concert House *

11/16 Calgary, AB - MacEwan Hall Ballroom *

11/17 Edmonton, AB - Union Hall *

11/19 Fargo, ND - The Venue *

11/20 Minneapolis, MN - Skyway Theater *

11/21 Milwaukee, WI - The Rave *

11/22 Detroit, MI - Harpo's *

11/23 Grand Rapids, MI - The Intersection *

11/25 Indianapolis, IN - The Vogue *

11/26 Cleveland, OH - House of Blues *

11/28 Charlotte, NC - Tremont Music Hall *

11/29 Philadelphia, PA - Electric Factory *

11/30 New York, NY - Irving Plaza *

12/02 Nashville, TN - Exit/In *

12/03 Asheville, NC - The Orange Peel *

12/04 Pensacola, FL - Vinyl Music Hall *

12/05 Orlando, FL - Firestone Live *

12/06 Atlanta, GA - The Masquerade *

12/07 Columbus, OH - Newport Music Hall *

12/08 Millvale, PA - Mr. Smalls Theater *

12/09 Toronto, ON - Opera House *

12/10 Montreal, QC - Virgin Mobile Corona Theater *

12/11 Clifton Park, NY - Upstate Concert Hall *

12/12 New Haven, CT - Toad's Place *

12/13 Baltimore, MD - Baltimore Sound Stage *

# with Decapitated, American Sharks
^ with American Sharks
* with Corrosion of Conformity, American Sharks