Published Dec 22, 2014
5. NSFW music videos:
There's nothing quite as thirsty as the not-safe-for-work music video. Whether showcasing a single, dimly lit booby or engaging in actual porn (as Coolio did), there's nothing that cries "I'm desperate for attention online" as the "NSFW" tag on a music video. Whether or not people actually care about your music is unknown, but putting some unclothed females in your music video (or, you know, the odd penis) is a surefire way to drum up some attention. And, sad to say, we've got the analytics to prove it.
4. EDM festival overdoses:
There were few things as truly depressing this summer than waking up each morning to report the news about who overdosed at which major EDM festival. And while it's easy to wag fingers at the turnt-up nature of ass-shaking, neon-lit, decidedly mainstream EDM festivals, there's nothing funny or deserved about the spate of deaths that struck this year. Blame it on overzealous teens who didn't know their limits or bad batches of party drugs, but something needs to change if EDM's going to be the outing of choice for the masses in the summer of 2015. It's simply not okay for these preventable deaths to be taking place at music festivals.
3. Trolling in an album rollout:
Of the many, many stupid things he said, Ariel Pink called Grimes a "stupid retard" in his album rollout. Then Eminem threatened to rape Iggy Azalea and said some horrendously violent things about Lana Del Rey in the lead up to his Shady XV LP. There were some dumbass white dudes saying some incredibly dumbass, privileged things in a year that could've used some added sensitivity and composure. Ariel Pink's album ended up with critical acclaim, while Eminem's defenders basically said, "It doesn't matter what he's saying, just listen to how fast he's saying it!" And yet few things had us sighing, groaning and rolling our eyes like the desperate pleas for attention coming from "edgy," "unfiltered" rockstar types. Yeesh.
2. Everything gets reissued:
We're a world obsessed with the past. That's why albums that are still readily available in discount bins and/or our respective dads' record collections continue to get repackaged and rereleased. Are you a record label looking to milk those last few dollars out of a bona fide classic? Slap a "remastered" sticker on it and put it out on the record shelves. Better yet, want to milk some more sales out of an album that was already released earlier in the year? Wait like three months, add two bonus tracks and call it the "deluxe" version.
1. Hashtags as band names, songs or tours:
Look gang — if you wanna use Twitter to promote your shit, that's totally fair. But if you name your song, project or tour with a hashtag built in, that's a little #obnoxious. Sure, there's the built-in marketing of someone typing your project's title into the Internet and thereby offering it some free promotion, but that's some seriously sneaky, messed up trickery. Hell, there was even a wildly popular (and truly terrible) EDM song called "You Only Talk in #Hashtag." As with any rule, there was one exception — the gloriously stupid Soulja Boy sex anthem, which was incorrectly called "Hashtag #" which, in its own wonderful way, was kinda awesome.