Chain Collector The Masquerade

While actual masquerades are romanticised for their mystery and excitement, the atmosphere of this dead-dance is closer to that of a third rate accounting office costume party; the kind where everyone shows up dressed as accountants. Opening with what immediately strikes the ear as a tiring Fear Factory jaunt into nu-metal madness, Chain Collector impotently proceed to melt an immense amount of upbeat, pseudo-metal hackery into Arch Enemy’s penchant for boring melodious riffing. A couple Southern grooves thrown in with the aforementioned bands’ mind-numbing influence spikes the watered down punch but only with as much intoxicating force as cough syrup. The tedious tunes continue through more random moments of genre hopping but do not live up to the greatest tragedy of this entire cochlear spectacle: the singing. I’d rather listen to Roseanne belting out traditional Swedish folk songs. Really. This may very well be the longest 47 minutes ever recorded. (Reluctant)