Barlow

The term "The Shitty Shawn Mullins” (or the shittier Shawn Mullins to more discerning circles) isn’t just thrown around lightly. It’s in good confidence though that this title is bestowed on Barlow. His unique brand of adult contemporary spoken-rock just brims with teeth-clenching toilet fodder. Although his music is ripe with "advice for the kids,” his upper class observations of street life feel gained through a telescope, as he offers advice like "You’re never in the gutter with your eyes on the stars.” This all goes hand in hand with a Matchbox 20 sound and a modern Corey Hart delivery that makes this a light rock radio jockey’s wet dream. Just when you think things possibly can’t get any worse, the prostate of the Canadian music scene, Snow, shows up on "Married by Elvis.” With Snow’s fake-y Jamaican toasts backing Barlow with all the street cred he could ever need, Barlow throws down old school and raps. This, quite assuredly, is the worst thing I have ever heard in my life.