Baptist Church Group to Protest Dio's Public Memorial

Baptist Church Group to Protest Dio's Public Memorial

The metal world lost a major player last weekend when Ronnie James Dio passed away. The ex-Black Sabbath and Rainbow vocalist was one of the genre's most influential figures, as the outpouring of tributes that have emerged in the past week proves. Unfortunately, the Westboro Baptist Church - the folks who brought us the Godhatesfags website - has announced it plans to picket Dio's public memorial service, going down on May 30 at L.A.'s Hall of Liberty.

The church has provided a statement as to why it plans to picket, and it goes without saying these people need to hire a fact-checker. We can't bear to reprint the whole statement, riddled as it is with poor grammar, all caps and typographical errors. Not to mention huge errors of fact, such as Dio being a satanist and Black Sabbath throwing raw meat into the audience.

However, because it's always good to have a laugh, we will run a few particularly humorous excerpts here (we took out the all-caps and cleaned up their typos; we expect the cheque to be in the mail, Westboro folks).

Some highlights:

You know 67-year-old, Satan-worshiping (or at least one of their enablers) Ronnie James Dio, of showing his devil horns to the world each time he goes in public and Black Sabbath fame, is dead, right? We'll be there! Just because the chances of any of God's elect being amongst this group of heavy metal sycophants is slim to none does not mean they should not get some good words. Yes, it is true that Ozzy Osbourne did "accidentally" bite off the head of a bat, but that is the least of their sins (little nasties!). They currently do not do that, but they throw raw meat to the audience and encourage violence of every form!

Here you have the list of admitted sins of this now dead and in hell pervert: 1) He hates his neighbour(s), starting with Ozzy Osbourne, and continuing down to his pornography star niece Gen Padova! 2) He hates God. Pay special attention to the fact that he changed his original surname from Padova to Dio, which means God in Italian. 3) Ronnie the simpleton enabled and encouraged sorceries: everything he was about including the little finger horn thing (he got this from his mother, which is an incantation to ward off the "evil eye") to the drugs, bloody raw meat, and his fellowship with those pentagram necklace wearing freakish band members.

Yes, Ronnie James Padova is currently residing in hell.

There are times when it's not really worth even replying to people's uninformed rants. Now is one of them. But, thanks for the laughs, Westboro Church! Now, back to reality.

Thanks to Metal Injection for the heads-up.