Published May 08, 2009Once again, expletive-loving Scot Aidan Moffat has started up his post-Arab Strap gig as a sex columnist. Yep, a sex columnist.
Over at the Quietus, today Moffat published his latest tips for the sexually-challenged in his I'm No Expert column. There's his advice on such naughty things as having rape fantasies, being pregnant and horny, and having sex beside your childhood collection of Star Wars toys. So fear not "all ye broken of heart and restless of loin," click here and ol' Moffat can help you out.
Here's just a taste of some of Moffat's advice:
I know as a man I am biologically prone to post-coital drowsiness, yet I strive to be the kind of man who will whisper sweet nothings in my lover's ear as we drift off together. Yet I struggle. What is a polite amount of time that I should to try to stay awake for?
I can honestly say I've never had this problem myself, J - I usually lie awake for ages until the lucky girl has fallen asleep and then get up and make a sandwich and a cup of tea and watch the telly. Am I the exception to the supposed rule, or is the idea of immediate post-coital deep sleep for men a myth? Only science can answer that, but the truth might be that you and many, many other men are just fucking lazy. All I can suggest for now is that if you genuinely want to stay awake for a cuddle but can't manage it, just tell your girlfriend all about it. Then, when you fall asleep, at least she'll know that you'd rather be loving her - and it's the thought that counts. Although you do realise that a lot of women tend to fall asleep after sex too, yes? Which means as well as being lazy and a big softy, you may also be crap in bed. Just saying.