Stormy Daniels Says Donald Trump's Penis Looks Like Toad from 'Mario Kart'

Stormy Daniels Says Donald Trump's Penis Looks Like Toad from 'Mario Kart'
Is Nintendo the most phallic videogame company of all time? News that Mario was packing a lil plumber pipe went viral last year, and now we've got an even crazier penis/SNES story for you. In a leaked excerpt from Stormy Daniels' tell-all book, the adult film star says that Donald Trump's penis looks like Toad from Mario Kart.

The Guardian obtained an early copy of Daniels' book Full Disclosure wherein the adult film star describes her alleged affair with a pre-presidential Trump.

More specifically, she said Trump has a "smaller than average penis" but "not freakishly small." 

"He knows he has an unusual penis," she added. "It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…. I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.... It may have been the least impressive sex I'd ever had, but clearly, he didn't share that opinion."

Will you ever be able to play Mario Kart the same way again? More importantly, will the internet ever recover from this hilarious and endlessly quotable excerpt?