Internet Scholars Confirm That Mario Has a Penis

Internet Scholars Confirm That Mario Has a Penis
While a cursory search of the fan art website reveals all sorts of ideas on Mario's gender and sexuality, the world has long wondered about Nintendo's official word on their most iconic character. When trailers for the Switch's Super Mario Odyssey first dropped, people noticed a beach scene that featured a topless Mario with nipples. All of which led to the question of whether or not he has a penis. After all, Nintendo have confirmed that he's no longer a plumber — but is he still packing a pipe?

Fortunately, a wise internet sleuth has done some digging to discover that Mario does indeed have a dangly appendage. As the A.V. Club points out, a Toronto Twitter user named Aubrey Cottle discovered an old manga wherein we see Mario's member.
Lest you think Mario's 1up is the creation of some phallic fans, Cottle was quick to point out that the hero's fleshy Wiimote was drawn in an officially licensed comic:
 
So there you have it — we now know with certainty that Mario has a penis. This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "Mushroom Kingdom."