Transit Christian De La Cortina

For anyone familiar with the sort of films that made their debut on TMN back in the early to mid-'90s, Transit will act as a friendly reminder of how truly awful those movies, which often featured Adam Baldwin, Justine Bateman, or Rutger Hauer, really were. There's a generic undercover police investigation, atrocious lighting, cheap sets, brutal acting, shameful dialogue, junkies looking for a fix, a cheesy slow-mo sex scene and a boring protagonist with bleached teeth and overly styled hair, who also happens to be the director, natch. Undercover RCMP officer Rodrigo (Christian De La Cortina), a less muscled, French-Canadian version of Casper Van Dien, has infiltrated an underground car theft ring led by Ricardo (Deano Clavet), hoping to get some dirt on Don Pepe (Jose De La Cortina), the head of the Montreal mafia. Meanwhile, the RCMP exploits Jean-Pierre (Luc Morissette), a criminal investigator, to help this mission on its way, while Rodrigo develops a crush of the carnal nature on fellow Mountie Julie (Julie Du Page). If this all sounds familiar, it's because there is nothing remotely original here, aside from a random mid-film prostate exam. Then again, perhaps there is a crowd out there that still gets tensed up when undercover officers risk being exposed to the criminal element, or that don't laugh when a drug deal goes down in a strip bar — because if you're going to exchange the proceeds of crime, you might as well look at some breasts. The overall message of Transit seems to be something akin to "don't beguile aging investigators who have cancer of the ass," or perhaps "it's not talent that gets movies made, it's the ability to network." All the DVD supplements are in French but include a commentary, some deleted scenes and interviews.