These Awful Turkey-Themed Rap Parodies Will Make You Thankful You're Not Celebrating American Thanksgiving

These Awful Turkey-Themed Rap Parodies Will Make You Thankful You're Not Celebrating American Thanksgiving
Reading about all of the delicious food, quality time and family fights surrounding American Thanksgiving might have you feeling a little FOMO — or, at the very least, nostalgia for October in Canada. But American Thanksgiving is not all it's cracked up to be, and we've got the videos to prove it.

Kentucky comedian Lydia Burrell is a must-follow on Twitter, because he's tasked himself with the tough job of excavating the worst clips YouTube has to offer. In September, he shared an excruciating batch of pumpkin spiced latte raps, and now he's back with some turkey travesties.

The thread starts, as most nightmarish threads do, with a parody of Silentó's viral "Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)." From now on, you'll forever hear the words as "Watch me sip, my Chardonnay-nay."

Of course, it wouldn't be an American holiday without patriarchal gender roles being held up and normalized. As such, "Uptown Funk" is now a song about women working away in the kitchen while the dudes bro down.

Then there's this dude, who delivered a seriously lonely rendition of the Notorious B.I.G.'s "Big Poppa."

The Biggie impersonator isn't the only one celebrating Thanksgiving alone. There's also this dude, singing a sad Adele parody from a tree.

At least this moustache man managed to find a friend for his Taylor Swift parody.

If you thought Lydia Burrell's thread was getting a little too restrained, this garish Missy Elliott cover is here to remind you that we live in hell on earth.

The worst thing about this "Despacito" parody is not the dorky dad, but the premise — no one hates mashed potatoes. Are you insane?

Hey here's another Adele parody. This one's about using Pinterest to find the perfect pie recipe.

This dad rapping about turkey over a Macklemore beat is still somehow harder than Macklemore.

This Jason Derulo cover utilizes plenty of special effects, which somehow makes it even sadder.

Hey it's that "Despacito" dad again, and now he's covering Meghan Trainor. Do you think he has any other hobbies?

That's not to say there aren't some original songs in Burrell's gloriously awful thread. This one is particularly heart-breaking.

This one is extremely off-putting.

And this one is, well... it's something.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our American friends, and a big thank-you to Lydia Burrell for reminding us that we're better off without it.