Star Crash Lewis Coates

Star Crash Lewis Coates
Clearly one of the worst sci-fi films of all time, there is but one grand question central to Star Crash: how intentional is its humour? The level of thoughtless plot contrivances would cause Roland Emmerich to scoff, or delight Mel Brooks, if taken as surreal ribbing. As revealed by a wealth of special features, Star Crash is the ultimate B-movie hatchet job. Previously unable to get his sci-fi script green-lit, Luigi Cozzi ― asked to change his name for the American release, as studios didn't think an Italian could be perceived as a credible sci-fi director ― suddenly found himself tasked with making a Star Wars knock-off in the wake of that film's success. Given only ten days to write it, for a studio still not interested in his passion project, Cozzi (an apprentice of Dario Argento and fan of Ray Harryhausen) cobbled together a baffling bit of nonsense more in league with Ed Wood than his mentor or idol. Actress Carolyn Munroe and her inexplicable bikini (Cozzi loves Barbarella, okay?) somehow maintains a dignified confidence even while jumping out of the window of a space ship, doing the breast stroke through the void and wearing a transparent windbreaker as a space suit. Opposite her, Marjoe Gortner makes Keanu Reeves look like Orson Welles, distractedly mumbling lines as a kind of autistic superman named Akon. He can absorb and redirect the energy of a laser blaster and heal himself with his mind, but apparently a shoulder wound is enough to make him commit suicide with his mind, since he can see through time, and that's just what happens. David Hasslehof was cast as a useless prince because he looked "beautiful and a bit stupid." The film's main actor budget went towards three days of Christopher Plumber, whose talent is ridiculously out of place, especially when he's forced to deliver a cringe-worthy closing monologue directly into the camera. A full second disc of features includes deleted scenes with explanations for why the content was cut (usually for being overly campy or in many cases, making absolutely no sense). In a movie where robots use swords, asking to not be taken back to a prison that has already been blown up doesn't seem quite so dumb. In addition to photo galleries and a long interview with Cozzi, there's an interview with a well-aged Munroe, a SFX feature and some old school home movie-quality behind-the-scenes footage. In the lauded land of so-bad-it's-hilarious, Star Crash is the idiot king. (Shout! Factory)