Published Jan 16, 2009Out of all the horror remakes that have passed by and are set to come, the one thing that My Bloody Valentine 3D can hold over the others is that it comes with a free pair of 3D glasses.
Paying homage to the unsung 1981 slasher, Lussier wastes no time getting the blood flowing (or spurting, if you will), introducing masked miner Harry Warden within minutes in a back-story that borrows ideas from the original but takes it into a new direction.
Nearly killed by Harry, Tom (Jensen Ackles of Supernatural) returns home on February 14 after ten years to find that the masked killer has returned to seek revenge on those who tried to stop him. Using the same character names and conflicts as the original, at the forefront of the plot is Tom's quest to win the old flame he abandoned, Sarah (Jaime King), back from his nemesis Axel (Kerr Smith), who's now the town sheriff. This emotional struggle sets the tone for the film's "whodunit?" scenario that produces a climax I was genuinely shocked by - in the sense that I could not believe the pitiable turn of events that transpired before my eyes.
Of course, the biggest question is: does MBV need the 3D technology for viewers to enjoy it? I say yes, because without it, all we have here is yet another piss-poor remake of straight-to-DVD quality material that paid too little attention to the original and made the same old mistakes that every contemporary horror flick makes.
And yet, MBV's reliance on technology doesn't end up working in its favour. Let's face it, most films shot in 3D don't know how to make the most of these effects, and the results here are disappointing: a pick axe here, a shotgun there, even the flying jaw was so heavily "CGed" that my astonishment went out the window, along with that victim's bloody teeth.
Perhaps the biggest disappointment of all is how Lussier completely ignored what made the original so special: the impact the innocent small (Canadian) town felt when this threat returned, and perhaps even more significantly, the novelty of Valentine's as a celebratory event. Merely sticking some heart-shaped boxes in a few scenes in order to make the title sensible just isn't enough, though it's just one of the countless ways in which this remake doesn't measure up. (Maple)