Jem and The Holograms Truly Outrageous Complete Series

Jem and The Holograms Truly Outrageous Complete Series
Childhood nostalgia is much like an idiotic boyfriend that dumps you – when you look back on the memories, it's a far more glorified time than it should be. To little girls living in the '80s, the cartoon Jem and the Holograms was the greatest thing since cherry 7-Up. However, as an adult, watching Jem and the Holograms is a truly outrageous embarrassment to women everywhere. Before Miley Cyrus became a huge sensation as Hanna Montana (prior to her slutty and salvia-smoking habits, of course), Jem was the first pop rock star to lead a double life. Jem is the alter ego of Jerrica Benton, a record executive who inherits her late father's music company and the Starlight mansion, a home for orphans. She also inherits Synergy, an unexplained holographic machine that allows Jerrica to transform into Jem via her starlight earrings. The only people who know of Jerrica/Jem's secret is her sister and closest friends (Kimber, Aja, Shana and Lena), and they all form a band together and are in constant conflict with punk rock group the Misfits (not the one with Glenn Danzig), who try everything in their power (in every damn episode) to destroy Jem and the Holograms. After watching all 65 episodes, it's safe to say the cartoon isn't the feminist work I thought I grew up on, but rather merely an exaggerated display of enlightened sexism. Every episode has the same formula and set up: Jem and the Holograms try to better their music career and the Misfits try to sabotage them. Insert three or four horribly sung mini-music videos, have Rio (Jerrica's dim boyfriend) save the day and make sure all the ethnic characters stay together. Hardcore fans may think Jem is all about "girl power," but Jerrica/Jem spends the entire show hiding her secret from her overly emotional boyfriend, allowing him to date, and most likely bed, her and her alter ego. Instead of telling him, she sings about it and sometimes the lyrics are slightly inappropriate for children. ("Is he making love to me or a fantasy?" is a lyric heard time and time again.) Jem is no feminist, but rather a glorified proto-Spice girl and unless you're a hardcore fan or a pretentious hipster who iron transfers '80s logos onto American Apparel T-shirts, you'll have no interest watching the entire series. The DVD features includes a 90-minute documentary featuring head story editor Christy Marx and the surviving cast members of the cartoon discussing the challenges of the show, animated storyboards and retro commercials of all Jem dolls and merchandise that will please nostalgic stoners. (Shout! Factory)