How to Rob a Bank

How to Rob a Bank feels as though it was written by a 20-year-old, black trench coat wearing film student who’s barren of life experience from beginning to end. The characterisations, scenarios and "life insights” feel familiar and often juvenile, as does the unnecessary stylisation that fizzles sporadically on the surface. Deeper meaning consists simply of the perspicacious concepts that "shit happens,” greediness will get you caught and that assertiveness will attract foxy bank robbers who mean well underneath their tough exterior. Some hostility is directed at the endless surcharges that an era of "convenience” has created, but is somewhat misguided and counter-analytical considering more inherent systemic cultural signifiers that are responsible for the simultaneous progress and regression of society as it prioritises piffle and evolves into an "idiocracy” ridden with bulimic socialites and instant gratification. How to Rob a Bank follows Jinx (Nick Stahl), a dysphoric 20-something who begrudgingly enters a bank branch when the $1.50 ATM service charge leaves him unable to withdraw the remaining $20.00 in his account. Unbeknownst to him, a robbery is afoot, which leaves him running from armed gunmen and winding up trapped in a sealed vault with a sassy bank robber named Jessica (Erika Christensen). Meanwhile, Simon (Gavin "Machinehead” Rossdale) holds the bank patrons captive while he tries to figure out a way into the vault and Officer DeGepse (Terry Crews) tries to resolve the hostage situation through sarcasm and bitchy cell phone conversations. Despite the perfunctory storyline, Christensen and Stahl give it their all in trying to make characters out of their mere clichés. On the other hand, Terry Crews’s wide-eyed, over-the-top Jackée impression seriously denigrates the already questionable quality of the film and Gavin Rossdale does little more than stand around looking pretty while occasionally dropping the "F” bomb. Those with lowered expectations might find some entertainment in Bank, if only to see Kwai Chang Caine referred to as a member of Duran Duran. The DVD includes two very short featurettes on characters and story. They add nothing of value but show the "like, whoa” factor of director Andrew Jenkins’ approach.