Deadpool A Day in the Life

Deadpool A Day in the Life

It's been a little over two years since the first instalment of Deadpool hit theatres, and the "Merc with a Mouth" has been hard at work with the followup. We had the good fortune of shadowing him during a typical filming day in Deadpool's New York, and he did not disappoint. We get the feeling there's an action/comedy thing going on, here. It's an Exclaim! Timeline of Deadpool: A Day In The Life.
 
8:57 a.m.
Deadpool wakes up in an undisclosed (to himself) location.
 
9:42 a.m.
After contemplating the significance of last evening's night terrors, Deadpool begins daily ablutions, including applying shaving cream, before realizing he's wearing a mask.
 
10:11 a.m.
Be-robed Deadpool flips through the day's old-timey newspaper. After reading his horoscope, he inhales a breakfast 'changa and jumps out the window. He climbs back in to ditch the robe.
 
10:59 a.m.
Arrives at Bed Bath & Beyond. Engages a staffer in a heated conversation about shower curtains, hears Air Supply's "All Out of Love" on the playlist, makes mental note to include it in DP2.
 
12:01 p.m.
Assembles Super Team: the steely Russian, the luck-bringer and a living teenage bomb. Brings them all to Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children for the pretzel buffet. Everyone is weirded-out and disappointed, including Weasel, who's generally seen it all.
 
12:13 p.m.
Reassesses assembled Super Team, opts instead for derivative Super Duper Fucking Group.
 
12:30 p.m.
Lunch. Something light — no carbs before punching.
 
12:58 p.m.
Time for scene training and personal development. Deadpool complains about cocaine and masturbation in a perm wig. Paints a rollicking landscape. Runs out of Clockwork Orange. Blends Red Dirt and Yellow Snow for a passable replacement. Breathes. Dances in the happy sky.
 
2:14 p.m.
Arts and crafts. After building a cityscape from construction paper and chewing out Dale, Deadpool continues scene training by channelling action figures of himself and Cable. Makes some references to Toy Story and Justice League, concludes by giving the Cable figure some Deadpool crotch-face.
 
3:01 p.m.
Since painting went so well, Deadpool gives it another go. Feeling light on pop culture references, he goes shopping for a "Chunk" Hawaiian shirt. He arrives at a rented Railtown loft to paint an oils portrait of someone named Josh "Brand" Brolin. Feeling like he's properly capitalized on the '80s tsunami, he drops some '90s on Twitter, proclaiming he's painting him "like one of my French girls."
 
4:19 p.m.
Calls Dopinder, has his cab pick him up for pole-dancing class. It's his first time practicing in heels, but he's takes to it very naturally. Notices they can double as lethal puncture weapons.
 
5:41 p.m.
Slays 200 ninjas in a bathhouse. Eats a sandwich.
 
6:13 p.m.
Deadpool drops by the X-Mansion. Big fucking surprise — no one's home. Bypasses security (too easy) and takes a spin in Xavier's juiced-up wheelchair. After a cheeky impression of the good professor, he gets bored and wanders around, eventually finds the Blackbird. Applies a high-tech hotwire job and picks up Vanessa for a dinner date. Ticketed for double-parking.
 
8:33 p.m.
Practices getting smooshed on an expressway by high speed vehicles. Works on getting the "backwards head" bit just right. Reaffirms his belief in method acting.
 
10:01 p.m.
Returns to his shitty apartment. Eats pancakes. Watches 27 Dresses and The Devil Wears Prada back to back.
 
Deadpool 2 arrives in theatres on May 18.
 
(Twentieth Century Fox)