The Cell 2 [Blu-ray]

Assuming the answer to the question, "why would anyone make a Cell 2?" is "…because The Glass House 2 was fantastic!," we are left to contemplate the end product itself and its similarities and differences to the beautifully shot, but thematically lame, original with Jennifer Lopez and Vince Vaughn as a tag team psychotherapist and FBI agent tracking a serial killer. Here we have a somewhat similar set up with a mind-walking psychic named Maya (Tessie Santiago) and a rugged rag-tag cop (Chris Bruno) trying to solve the mystery of the hoodie-wearing, heart-removing killer. What supposedly adds drama here is that the murderer previously attacked Maya, killing her and bringing her back to life, giving them a connection, and her some magical brain endorphins, or something to that effect. It's all shot and presented like a particularly lazy Canadian version of CSI, with none of the visual flair that Tarsem Singh demonstrated in the original. It does, however, feature inappropriate close-ups of boobies, in a manner not entirely dissimilar to the George Lopez classic, Ski Patrol. Unlike that kooky mogul masterpiece, The Cell 2 features the writing talents of four different screenwriters, who collectively managed to come up with some of the clumsiest exposition ever caught on film, and sarcasm to the effect of, "Oh, I can see you're real busy here." Zing! If only that demonstration of wit was brought into the mind of the serial killer here, who apparently sees everything through the eyes of a Vaseline lens and crappy editing. To expand on some of these artistic decisions, the writers, producers and directors spend a half hour talking about the production of the film in the "Behind the Scenes" special featurette. What is impressive here is that all involved manage to keep a straight face when talking about "themes" and "intentions." On the upside, hillsides and background shots of passing cars are crystal clear in 1080p High Definition Blu-ray, which is at least something.