Catwoman

Pain is the central theme that runs throughout Catwoman. Unfortunately, this central theme relates to the viewer's experience of sitting through the film and not the actual film. Starring Halle Berry, who continually proves she was a one-trick pony with Monster's Ball, Catwoman tells the tale of Patience Phillips, a real loser who works for a cosmetic company designing an anti-aging cream. After discovering the long-term side effects, Patience is trapped in a sewage tank and murdered when someone flushes the toilet. Lying dead in a big pile of crap, she is resurrected by an immortal cat, which gives her CPR. Groan. The magical breath of the feline gives Patience cat-like instincts and powers, turning her into Catwoman. She seeks revenge against the evil ex-model (Sharon Stone) who ordered her hit and along the way finds love with the hunky cop (Benjamin Bratt) investigating her case. With an R&B soundtrack that strips the film of any edge and CGI used as if a child was in control, Catwoman has very little going for it. Berry's attempt to go from mousy to oversexed is embarrassing, although with such a poor script there's little she could do. This film should have been made with Michelle Pfeiffer and Tim Burton after 1992's Batman Returns. Thankfully a tiny morsel of salvation is found on the DVD in the documentary The Many Faces of Catwoman. Hosted by the original kitty, Eartha Kitt, the 30-minute film traces the history of the comic book feline and includes clips and interviews with Pfeiffer and Adam West. Another documentary interviewing the cast and crew behind the scenes is uncomfortable to watch, as each person tries to show interest in explaining such a poor film. The additional scenes just increase the pain, especially the teasing clip of Patience being chased by dogs in a scrap yard. If only this clip was included and the dogs got a hold of her the film may have improved and been much shorter. This release proves that last year cats became the most hated animal on earth. Want proof? Catwoman and Garfield should be enough. Plus: trailer. (Warner)