Bald Blake Leibel

Bald Blake Leibel
The tagline reads: "this movie takes bad behaviour to a whole new level." Why stop there? Why not throw all your chips on the table, Bald: bad acting, bad directing, bad writing, bad editing? Because that much lavishly stated ineptitude could be mistaken for a veritable shit-renaissance, and that could confuse the point that Bald is just plain stupid? With humour so immature it'd make the Wayans family collectively role their eyes, it's a wonder a film this brain-dead got made, even with the plethora of bouncing boobies lamely trying to justify the existence of this shit-sandwich of a script. Douche-bag A, Andrew Wood, a second-year college student obsessed with his rapidly receding hairline, scapegoats his faltering follicles for all his problems with the fairer sex. The delusional idiot flunks out of school, yells at people about his bald spot and tries to pass off extended burps as humour. Douche-bag B, Max, is the prototypical, suave, stoner roommate; he can get any girl on campus but doesn't bother, is loved by all and is never without at least a ten-paper stunt joint blazing. It's a testament to the utter nadir of unfunny that is Bald that Jonathan Cherry's portrayal of Max is the film's zenith. Simply not being excruciatingly annoying is a boon in this swamp of reprehensible adolescents and embarrassing stereotypes. So the douche duo hatch a plan to make their fortune (actually, Max does all the work, so it's what, sympathy that makes him include Wood?) involving a ludicrous number of questionably whore-ish college girls happy to spend their time stripping on web cams in a single office room. All Wood wants the money for is a hair transplant and to bribe his way back into school, but he's had the girl of his dreams despite his many obvious flaws since early in the film, rendering the proceedings completely moot. Wrestler Diamond Dallas Page shows up for an even more pointless Home Alone-on-drugs climax before Bald thankfully ends. The "Making Of" isn't worth mentioning, hell, this movie isn't worth mentioning, except as proof that throwing tits at a problem isn't always a viable solution. (Image)