Alone In The Dark Uwe Boll

Who said it was a good idea to commission a film for every videogame out there? While we wait for the sequel to Super Mario Bros., dark and violent shoot 'em films like Resident Evil: Apocalypse and House of the Dead have been decorating screens for empty seats even the avid film-going gamer is hesitant to experience. Unfortunately, producers didn't learn their lesson and now we have Alone in the Dark. There is no way of sugar-coating it: this is a horrible film with no redeeming qualities. The story is complex, confusing and nonsensical, something director Boll subtly hints at in the commentary. In a nutshell, the neatly stubbled Christian Slater is a paranormal investigator in search of, well, something dangerous, and when he retrieves it, it takes him to his unbelievably bogus ex-girlfriend, a book-smart museum researcher played by Tara Reid. Throw in Stephen Dorff as the gritty military man in charge of the government's secret army and a number of ugly Aliens-like monsters and presto, we have war. The action sequences capture the feeling of the videogame: the guns have unlimited ammo, the camera moves fast and the fight scenes are filled with Matrix-style slow-mo effects. Boll's commentary suffers from his monotonous tone. He seems to be oblivious to the film's weaknesses, explaining "it's not totally over the top" and that "Tara Reid looks really intelligent with eyeglasses." He does however give some valuable insight into how generous the German government is to filmmakers. The visual effects featurette only proves how artificial and reliant the film is on CGI, while the "behind the scenes" featurette offers the DVD's funniest moment, with Slater admitting, "It doesn't get any better than this — it's perfection." (Alliance Atlantis)