The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D Robert Rodriguez

The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D Robert Rodriguez
Robert Rodriguez is your hero. Here he is following up Sin City with Shark Boy and Lava Girl, a movie conceptualised solely by his seven-year-old son, Racer Max - the kid actually holds the screenwriting credit. That's pretty much the raddest thing ever.

The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl is the story of - wait for it - a boy that is a shark and a girl that shoots lava from her hands, and the adventures that ensue. It's in 3-D and the ticket comes with giant shark goggles, which immediately makes this a candidate for greatest movie of all time. Sadly, the awesome stops there.

The only people who will enjoy this movie are hippies and nine year olds. It's essentially about the importance of dreams. The film centres on a precocious grade-schooler named Max (Cayden Boyd) who, in order to save the Earth from some sort of netherworld tornado, must employ his imaginary shark and lava friends and explore his sleeping thoughts. They drive a Train of Thought, paddle down the Stream of Consciousness, encounter floating eyeballs, battle electrical cords and sound off against something that looks like Mega Man. It's imperative that they get to the Land of Milk and Cookies. That's where the magic crystal is located. The magic crystal that saves the world.

Young kids will probably dig Shark Boy and Lava Girl because they won't try to understand what the hell is going on. They also won't notice that the acting is terrible (David Arquette stars), the dialogue sounds like it was written by a seven-year-old (which is forgivable since it actually was) and the 3-D is mostly just characters pointing at things that happen to be in the audience's general direction. Still, hats off to Rodriguez for naming his kid Racer. (Alliance Atlantis)