This is Not Happening Ft. Scott Thompson, Yannis Pappas, Sam Morril and Sean Patton Cafe Cleopatre, Montreal QC, July 26

This is Not Happening Ft. Scott Thompson, Yannis Pappas, Sam Morril and Sean Patton Cafe Cleopatre, Montreal QC, July 26
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This edition of Ari Shaffir's famous storytelling show This is Not Happening was perfectly suited to the strip club it was performed in: the theme of the night was sex, and none of the comics shied away from the subject they were assigned. Debaucherous and graphic with occasional moments of shame, all the comics' stories were either bizarre, cringe-worthy, or both. 
 
Shaffir opened the live version of his Comedy Central TV show by telling the audience about the time he got a girl pregnant, then consequently had anxiety for the several weeks that she debated whether to have an abortion.
 
It was decently funny, but nothing compared to the revoltingly hilarious tale that Scott Thompson followed him with: during his "manwhore stage," the Kids in the Hall legend apparently went to a bathhouse and encountered a man who had a sign around his neck that said "The Human Urinal" and a funnel secured around his head that lead to his mouth. That in itself was enough to make the story insane, but it somehow got even more ridiculous. Thompson revealed that he ended up deciding to make a contribution to the fetishist's funnel, but was refused because The Human Urinal wasn't a fan of his. "You don't know true rock bottom until the Human Urinal won't accept your piss." Thompson quipped, setting off a riotous ripple of belly laughs through the crowd.
 
Though he was a tough act to perform after, Yannis Pappas wasn't the slightest bit nervous when he took to the stage. He killed equally hard with his story about a Danish girl drunkenly rimming him even though he was having horrible stomach problems (to put it subtly).
 
Sam Morril subsequently told a story about a stranger with missing teeth called "The White Knight" who prevented him from having a one-night-stand. His anecdote was wasn't quite as good as Pappas's narrative, but it was still very comical.
 
Sean Patton closed the show with a story about trying to get with a girl who had no interest in him that was both unbelievable in terms of how good the writing was, as well as in terms of how wild the plot got. Patton's one-liner about how the girl had "more butt than a stuttering man with a contrasting opinion" was like a sucker-punch of hilarity, his narration of drinking the girl's roofied drink in an act of unrecognized martyrdom was riveting, and his recounting of the ludicrous things he said when he called 911 while drugged out of his mind was a perfect end to this wonderful collection of sexual escapades.