September 22
zendaya is meechee pic.twitter.com/zE6rXniAnQ
— Gabriel Gundacker (@gabegundacker) September 23, 2018
"I'ma go home to change and then meet y'all down there later." pic.twitter.com/Pid7HdbsAF
— Tomiko (@MikoAriel) September 23, 2018
I try not to brag too much, but I have just heard wonderful news !
— John Cleese (@JohnCleese) September 22, 2018
I made a speech recently at the Banqueting House in Westminster
Since then, the organisers have received a number of complaints from people who attended it
And...........they were ALL from Trump supporters !!
September 23
live your life with the enthusiasm of Bruce Springsteen counting to 4
— Jill Krajewski (@JillKrajewski) September 23, 2018
[slips the DJ $20] Do you have any podcasts
— Jules (@Julian_Epp) September 23, 2018
[David Bowie writing "Fame"]
— Zilla Persona (@ZillaPersona) September 23, 2018
Bowie: so john lennon i'm going to sing this whole song, what do you want to do
John: every time you say the word "fame" i am also going to say the word "fame" but in a funny high voice
Bowie: perfect
shortly after florence welch invented lungs (2009), lorde invented ribs (2013) and we were given what we now know as the upper respiratory system. it wasn't until 2018 when ariana invented breathin that we were given the full gift of autonomous respiration
— kyle (@WTFisup_kyle) September 23, 2018
Those four people who always like your posts no matter what. pic.twitter.com/Bftweuv1Ob
— Ben Hall (@MrBenLHall) September 23, 2018
has d.c. comics considered casting ronan farrow as the new superman? he's already a mild mannered reporter, that's half the job!
— Ziwe (@ziwe) September 24, 2018
September 24
"...I'm a fun guy."
— #Mickstape (Scary Hours) (@MickstapeShow) September 24, 2018
Kawhi Leonard followed up that quote with a laugh so artificial it simply had to be his 1st pic.twitter.com/erpH7f7eND
My son has parked his bike by this lamppost just about every day for the last year. This morning, this sticker had appeared. Absolutely made our day. People can be so brilliant. Thank you, whoever did it 😊 pic.twitter.com/rYC8jCTD5L
— Christie Dietz (@asausagehastwo) September 24, 2018
When you try pulling the hotel blanket from where it's tucked pic.twitter.com/vZ0NuaaGO5
— Nik (@AmoNickk) September 25, 2018
me on twitter / me on linkedin pic.twitter.com/oWIc3gDcec
— karen han (@karenyhan) September 25, 2018
September 25
Donald Trump is what happens when you bury Nancy Grace in a pet sematary.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 25, 2018
lol this would be the saddest series of events if it happened to a remotely decent person pic.twitter.com/889jsjeGAv
— luke oneil 🚽 (@lukeoneil47) September 25, 2018
September 26
computer: "save this image as 6606499f1e5c84d7c30.png?"
— harrison (@harriweinreb) September 26, 2018
me: "yea"
Everyone talks about Kavanaugh's great intellect but dude had to remind himself to come home from the beach pic.twitter.com/EHOkOqFMPD
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 27, 2018
September 27
I've never wished so hard that Alyssa Milano was a real witch. pic.twitter.com/Oqaw7210eq
— Meredith B. Kile (@em_bee_kay) September 27, 2018
Pretty sure if I cried over a calendar in public while yelling about how much I love beer they'd have me arrested.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) September 27, 2018
Holy shit this thread https://t.co/7OYDGTypyw
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 27, 2018
September 28
Soooo a rapist president appointed a rapist judge who is being embraced by a group of men who desperately want to overturn roe v wade so that soon in america a woman who has been raped will be forced to carry her rapist's baby to term. Cool cool cool
— Kate Berlant (@kateberlant) September 28, 2018
— C H I L I (@heyitschili) September 28, 2018
