Fuck everything, and much more from this week in funny tweets.
SIRI, what's your deal with Brian? pic.twitter.com/G6p9yjyBZx— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) 5 November 2016
Just remember (as you do a Sunday): if you're trying to think of what funny thing to put on your headstone, Merv Griffin is the guy to beat. pic.twitter.com/qr1QXFmBLn— Jake Fogelnest (@jakefogelnest) 6 November 2016
when it's all over Kellyanne Conway can go back to being that mother who kills the better cheerleader so her daughter makes the squad— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) 6 November 2016
Every four years there's the Springsteen fans shocked to discover he's a Democrat. pic.twitter.com/MyymzhLy7i— Bob Schooley (@Rschooley) 8 November 2016
Just some disenfranchised Americans desperate for change because the country hasn't been working for them pic.twitter.com/oPPGQeNd8k— amil (@amil) 9 November 2016
BRITAIN: Brexit is the stupidest, most self-destructive act a country could undertake.— Brian Pedaci (@bpedaci) 9 November 2016
USA: Hold my beer.
BREAKING: All four jaws have fallen off Mount Rushmore.— The Bugle (@hellobuglers) 9 November 2016
I HOPE JUSTIN TRUDEAU TURNS OUT TO BE A CANNIBAL https://t.co/bXr0flNnpd— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) 9 November 2016
Man: Why don't women report sexual assault?— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) 9 November 2016
Woman: [Plays clip of Trump talking about his accusers] This guy won a presidential election.
Sanders campaign statement, per CNN: "We have nothing polite to say right now."— David Freddoso (@freddoso) 9 November 2016