June 30
anne hathaway is being talked about for her beauty but what about the fact that her husband looks very similar to william shakespeare and william shakespeare's wife's name was literally ANNE HATHAWAY...... pic.twitter.com/UR0x4bnL8N
— 🧚🏾♀️ (@PEACHYBLACKG0RL) July 1, 2018
Red Hot Chili Peppers Discography
— joey alison sayers (@joeyalison) June 30, 2018
- Californication (1999)
- Coloradorgasm (2001)
- Sexas (2004)
- Maine in the Butt (2006)
- Mississippi on Me (2007)
- Oregonads (live) (2010)
- Let's Fuck in Georgia (2018)
Canada Day Plans
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) June 30, 2018
- wake up thinking about logs, rivers and land
- call flag "buddy"
- eat breakfast (i.e. smoke cigarettes)
- crank some Moist loud as hell
- send some old-fashioned Canadian emails
- eat supper (i.e. read a book about WWI)
- call 911, sing O Canada to the cops
July 1
My daugjter just ruined Toy Story for ever. She said if one of the toys died Andy wouldnt know and he'd carry on playing with its corpse
— Baron Stigmund (@stiggib3) July 1, 2018
LOL I remember I was telling my white co worker about the black nod and I was nodding at every black person in the street and they were nodding back and he tried to nod to a white person and they put their middle finger up at him LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL
— . (@HeronChe) July 1, 2018
If golf and soccer switched announcers... pic.twitter.com/W0qr4n3GWx
— John Crist (@johnbcrist) July 2, 2018
cavs fans following lebron to the lakers pic.twitter.com/7wRoyO2HvC
— soundclout🐊 (@iamwizz__) July 2, 2018
July 2
JR: Man, why you leavin?
— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) July 2, 2018
LeBron: pic.twitter.com/J3Uf8eY62o
my day is insanely fucked up after seeing this picture of justin trudeau in 2000 pic.twitter.com/O4pA14u42z
— foxes in fiction (@foxesinfiction) July 3, 2018
Sorry, but this is just called "doing some drugs" pic.twitter.com/RJ0Wff9wWa
— Drew Armstrong (@ArmstrongDrew) July 2, 2018
Wanna feel old? The 2018 world cup has been on for 650 years
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) July 2, 2018
July 3
today I got an email confirming a domino's order I didn't make bc someone HACKED my account to use my points to get a free pizza so I called the store and the guy literally took it out of the oven, threw it away, and told me he'd tell whoever came for it to fuck off
— Grace (@gracearnprie) July 4, 2018
i checked my texts and ive been drunk texting one of my recent uber drivers pic.twitter.com/JHRh5V8g0g
— eric turtle (@dubstep4dads) July 3, 2018
[Disney Pitch Meeting]
— Abam🇧🇷 (@AdamBroud) July 3, 2018
Writer: So kids love puppies
Exec: Haha true
Writer: This movie is about skinning alive 101 of them
Exec: First off, it's perfect
how did they not cast Ryan Gosling https://t.co/zlS7rRkxvz
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) July 3, 2018
July 4
Happy 4th of July! pic.twitter.com/uvG53UEHLR
— Tuxedo Mask (@TheLoveBel0w) July 4, 2018
Jaws is the most American 4th of July movie because it's the one in which an elected official acting on behalf of business interests allows several of his constituents to be literally eaten alive by a problem he was warned about
— jason lee (@speaks2ya) July 4, 2018
Can you please just start saying "adults under 40" for "Millennials" because that is now literally what it means. Then see if your thing sounds silly.
— Summer Brennan (@summerbrennan) July 4, 2018
July 5
I wake up at 5AM every day, spend 4 grueling hours in my kitchen fixing my breakfast paella, which I barely have time to enjoy before it's time to begin my lunch paella. But hey, i didn't start my paella cleanse because it's easy, I did it because something is very wrong with me.
— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) July 5, 2018
Trump on his crowds: "I have broken more Elton John records...and I don't have a musical instrument: I don't have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ."
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) July 5, 2018
Favorite new thing:
— kevinbiegel (@kbiegel) July 5, 2018
Scratching haunting things into bananas at the market so when people take them home hours later and the words appear they think a ghost knows their secrets. pic.twitter.com/aDOMd3K8cX
This is either a high-level prank or the definition of self-plaigirism https://t.co/YCngiaLubY
— Chris Berube (@ChrisBerube) July 5, 2018
July 6
[drops acid, logs on] pic.twitter.com/oJdAtpgxTe
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) July 6, 2018
I now look forward to watching Carmelo Anthony join the Warriors for $3.50 an hour plus tips
— scharpling (@scharpling) July 6, 2018
Their state is the Spanish word for mountain https://t.co/VfvYipFsxV
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) July 6, 2018
