This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 10, 2020
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January 4
bye this is so humiliating ππ pic.twitter.com/GZ3SUhPoud
β aneβ· SHADOW (@jinIov3r) January 5, 2020
Weird how no one asks women if they're afraid to hire men after centuries of sexual assault https://t.co/CTI1kJFRbD
β Sandra Newman (@sannewman) January 5, 2020
in 2020, can we stop letting male artists get away with being THIS mediocre? if a female dropped a song and visual like this they'd be dragged. pic.twitter.com/rHOEQxGZeN
β jack (@fkajack) January 4, 2020
damn, took less than 24 hours for @NetflixFlims to get deleted. i had fun with it while it lasted. pic.twitter.com/g5pqlajSFs
β Al Shipley (@alshipley) January 5, 2020
remember when you had to pay for ringtones now i would throw my phone out the window if it made a single sound
β doctor peanut (@NINETIREDBUGS) January 5, 2020
January 5
"The hero of this next movie is a naive, misguided child who spreads nazi propaganda and only has imaginary friends. His name is Mark Zuckerberg. Sorry this is an old intro for Social Network" pic.twitter.com/QWLwmcPLPt
β Hamza Shaban (@hshaban) January 6, 2020
[doing mad lib]
β soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) January 5, 2020
me: a romantic place
the b-52s: shack
me: uh. let's come back to that one. something that rocks
the b-52s: lobster
me: guys
I think I see your problem. pic.twitter.com/HU7qhuVuDJ
β jamie (@gnuman1979) January 5, 2020
Love R*cky G*rvais' style of humour that consists of telling you he's about to be offensive and doesn't give a shit, delivering a lukewarm joke that teenagers on Reddit have already made, and finishing off by reminding you he doesn't care if he's offended you. truly a visionary
β ππͺπ½π±π (@catherinebouris) January 6, 2020
If you're gonna rail on veganism you shouldn't do it with photos of food that looks incredible https://t.co/ZFJwJio6fj
β Jared Holt (@jaredlholt) January 6, 2020
Man why he doing this corny shit with heOHHHHHHHHHH https://t.co/Q4c0pALBQR
β Uncle Nephew Cam (@CeeHawk) January 5, 2020
January 6just discovered i am too short to be a sperm donor & no amount of bullying in my life could have prepared me for this
β Official Ted Kaczynski VEVO (@nachdermas) January 5, 2020
Can't stop thinking about the man who was offended by vegetable soup at an event he wasn't even invited to pic.twitter.com/afkboAKObH
β Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) January 6, 2020
Hey Justin what the fuck pic.twitter.com/ccCwB5i5Ps
β na'amaβ· (@iknownaama) January 6, 2020
They're not skits, they're sketches.
β Kids in the Hall (@KITHOnline) January 7, 2020
That's all, carry on.
I saw my Uber driver put on a playlist called "White Passenger" and I loved every second of it. I wish I could give 7 stars.
β Ivan Decker (@ivandecker) January 7, 2020
January 7
Your fiancΓ© gets kidnapped in a foreign country. You stay out till 2 am searching w authorities but eventually you have to call it and return to your hotel. Do you still do your skincare routine y/n
β cancela lansbury (@gossipbabies) January 8, 2020
award season every single year be like pic.twitter.com/cnhyRe7y6p
β becca (@laurieslaurence) January 7, 2020
very powerful 'PC game from 2002' aura https://t.co/zzPjpnhKAP
β henno (@jrhennessy) January 7, 2020
Iran attacks US airbase, in response the US kills Qasem Soleimani five days earlier
β pixelatedboat aka "mr tweets" (@pixelatedboat) January 8, 2020
oh my dear lord. Sekou Doumbouya wrecks Tristan Thompson and stands over his corpse. pic.twitter.com/2w23V9mB1v
β Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) January 8, 2020
January 8
Maybe the greatest airport reunion ever pic.twitter.com/0PIfiwNrzm
β Giles Paley-Phillips (@eliistender10) January 8, 2020
"You want Brexit? I'll give you a fucking Brexit." β Meghan Thee Markle
β Saeed Jones (@theferocity) January 8, 2020
It's okay to spend less time with your toxic parents. It's okay to move across the globe and start ignoring your father. It's okay to marry a prince and teach him about boundaries. It's okay to dismantle a dynasty because they're toxic colonizers. Do what you need to cope.
β Eve Ettinger (@eve_ettinger) January 8, 2020
[clears throat for a full minute] megxit https://t.co/o2mgmY2NQ4
β julia reinstein π‘ (@juliareinstein) January 8, 2020
1 minute before the museum closes pic.twitter.com/k3eWQoZ6vc
β COLiN BURGESS (@Colinoscopy) January 8, 2020
January 9
Jupiter's had enough of our shit. https://t.co/0IwafNMq2v
β William LeGate π§’ (@williamlegate) January 10, 2020
I tuned in to Canada's new version of Family Feud and may have witnessed one of the most iconic game show moments I've ever seen. pic.twitter.com/QsTIjEzoM7
β Mike Morrison π³οΈβπ (@mikesbloggity) January 10, 2020
Well, for starters: because he pleaded guilty. https://t.co/rxxUBUTOhC
β Eric Swalwell (@ericswalwell) January 10, 2020
why are they still cooking for her what a waste https://t.co/br75rCjVqz
β Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) January 9, 2020
January 10
my dog and I both have anxiety so whenever I'm pacing my apartment she follows me around like we're marching in a mental illness pride parade
β May Wilkerson (@shutupmay) January 10, 2020
Imagine being this intern's supervisor and having to deal with this shit https://t.co/o4XOvJnkrd
β Chris Scott (@iamchrisscott) January 11, 2020
editor: this better not be like last time
β seaElle (@ellewasamistake) January 10, 2020
kafka: it's a coming of age story
editor: ok
kafka: about a boy who's changed, but his family won't accept him
editor: i'm listening
kafka: because he's changed into a bug
editor: there we go
kafka: like a real big fuckin bug
I can't help thinking he's chuckling somewhere knowing hundreds of bands with gigs tonight are trying to figure out "an easy Rush song."
β Jon Wurster (@jonwurster) January 10, 2020
Did I tweet this? I don't remember pic.twitter.com/IInARhH4fV
β Sam Taggart (@samttaggart) January 10, 2020
What is something that you believe the president has done well? pic.twitter.com/UlFeaOtTVR
β Vic Berger IV (@VicBergerIV) January 10, 2020