Isis, Metallica, Slipknot Winners At the Epiphone Revolver Golden Gods Awards

> Apr 08 2009

Isis, Metallica, Slipknot Winners At the Epiphone Revolver Golden Gods Awards
By Keith CarmanThe loud are quite proud today. Last night (April 7, 2009) was North America's first heavy music recognition ceremony, the Epiphone Revolver Golden Gods Awards.

Held at Club Nokia in Downtown Los Angeles, the event was hosted by comedic actor Brian Posehn (The Sarah Silverman Program, Mr. Show) and filmed by MTV2 for a Saturday May 2 broadcast. Leaving us to seethe in envy for not being invited, performances by the likes of Megadeth, Killswitch Engage, Hatebreed, All That Remains, Suicide Silence and a DJ set from Slipknot's Corey Taylor provided entertainment.

Naturally, an event of such ferocious magnitude wouldn't have been complete without special appearances by genre luminaries, so Epiphone and Revolver got on the horn and called in Motörhead's Lemmy Kilmister, Glenn Danzig, Tool's Maynard James Keenan, Korn's Jonathan Davis, Alice In Chains, Vinnie Paul, Scott Ian, Chuck Billy, Protest the Hero, Bleeding Through, Isis, Unearth, Metalocalypse/Dethklok's Brendon Small and a whack of others to play/host/bang their heads while presenting the following awards. We reserve judgment on a few selections/titles:

Most Awesomely Good Drummer: Vinnie Paul Abbott (Pantera/Hellyeah)
Best Underground Metal Band: Isis
Metal Industry Award: Rainbow Bar & Grill
Best Album: Metallica
Honorary Headbanger: Kat Von D
Golden God: Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)
Best Riff: Slipknot
Most Viral Video: Protest The Hero
Most Metal Athlete: Shaun White
Best Live Band: Slipknot
Best New Talent: Suicide Silence
Lifetime Achievement: Ozzy Osbourne
Best International Band: Dethklok
Reader's Choice Award: The Acacia Strain
Most Mind-Blowing Guitarist: Jeff Hanneman and Kerry King (Slayer)
Hottest Chick In Metal: Marta Peterson (Bleeding Through)

Coolest part of the entire affair? The fact that Epiphone and Revolver Magazine had a sense of humour, fashioning the statuette after Stonehenge, á  la the unforgettable scene in rockumentary This Is Spinal Tap.

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what a fucking joke. noone gives a shit about these fucking retarded awards anymore, and this is made apparent by their choices of the bands that received the awards. Metallica? really? they fucking suck now. Dave mustaine wins the golden god award? really? he's fucking born again christian.. how retarded is that. futhermore, kat is a dumb bitch, isis isn't 'underground', slipknot has been writing shitty riffs since they came together, and slayer's guitarists suck dick at guitar. why not jeff loomis for best guitarist?!?! he's 10000x better!
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