2012 in Beefs

> Dec 18 2012

2012 in Beefs
By Josiah HughesWhile it's easy for musicians to play nice in an effort to save face, maximize networking and rack up a nice Rolodex, that gets a little boring after a while. Especially when we all know there's no way they love each other that much. That's why, we've spent the year bringing you the best disses, spats and hissy fits from all kinds of artists. After all, even if you're a strict vegetarian, who doesn't love a healthy dose of beef? Let's make a stew!

10. Mike Love vs. the Beach Boys:

The world of beef knows no age limits, as grumpy old men the Beach Boys proved when they essentially fell apart at the end of their wildly successful 50th anniversary tour. It wasn't all of their faults, however. Instead, it boiled down to vocalist Mike Love, who seemingly fired the band at the end of their shows. Love claimed he had always planned to do another Beach Boys tour with hired musicians (Smashing Pumpkins style, amirite), but the rest of the dudes pointed out that they'd been offered more shows for the original lineup, and that they were under the impression that things were going well. It's hard to understand how things could turn bad when they were seemingly going so smoothly, but then, we've all had an elderly relative get in trouble for stirring up shit in the old folks' home, haven't we?

9. Zodiac vs. the Weeknd:

While most of these beefs are good for a LOL or two, this one's more of a bummer. Producer Jeremy Rose, who now performs under the name Zodiac, revealed that he was actually an integral part of Abel Tesfaye's rise as the Weeknd. Everything from the unique sound of the project to the actual moniker was allegedly conceived by Rose. Originally working as a group, Rose claims that Tesfaye's inability to collaborate eventually forced him out, and now he doesn't even have actual credit for his work on the breakthrough House of Balloons mixtape. Talk about a lousy Weeknd!

8. Akron/Family vs. Man Is the Bastard / Bastard Noise:

Count the amount of times you've seen a parody of, say, the Black Flag logo, and it shouldn't come as a surprise that the indie mainstream would enjoy appropriating a hardcore scene image for their own merchandise. When Akron/Family utilized a skull and text design popularized by crusty power-violence crew Man Is the Bastard, however, it was proven just how humourless that sect can be. Bastard member Eric Wood essentially lost his shit on the Akron/Family Facebook page, including the succinct statement, "YOU GUYS ARE GODDAMNED THIEVES AND YOU SUCK. FUCKING LOGO STEALING LOSERS. FUCK YOU!!!!!" Akron bassist Miles Seaton insisted that the logo use was intended as a tribute to the band, who changed his life when he saw them many years ago. Still, if there's one lesson we can all learn from this, it's that old-school crust dudes don't give a fuck about tongue-in-cheek homages.

7. Billy Corgan vs. Soundgarden and Pavement:

Currently knee deep in his Smashing Pumpkins "revival," Billy Corgan took some time to lash out at his '90s contemporaries Soundgarden and Pavement this year for their refusal to make new music (something Soundgarden eventually did). "There are those bands that are essentially coming back only to make money — playing their old albums, and maybe somewhere in the back of their minds they're thinking there might be a future," Corgan told Philstar.com, adding, "When Soundgarden came back and they just played their old songs, great. I was a fan of Soundgarden, but call it for what it is. They're just out there to have one more round at the till; same with Pavement and these other bands." Corgan went on to add, "We can't run an oldies business. Not only is it boring, it's actually not a very good business." How does he counter that? It's simple, really — he just hired an entirely new backing band, presumably through a want ad at his local Guitar Center. It's hard to be a Smashing Pumpkins rehash when you're not really playing in the Smashing Pumpkins.
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Shouldn't Exclaim! vs. Smashing Pumpkins be #1?
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What's with all the butt comments, ie: butthurt-ness, noodle-haired butt rocker etc. Hey Josiah, are you having a personality crisis. That shit couldn't be more Freudian.
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